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Sex in Crazy Places

In 2011, and more specifically less-conservative America, you come across friends during spoken tales of sex in crazy places. And though this post might seem more graphic than not, I figured it might be a fun and light way to shimmer over the summer months.

Traditionally, sex in a bedroom, is the normative thought when it comes to the how to properly engage in intimacy with your other half. But despite this train of thought- and the little engine that could, who’s to say what’s normal and what’s not. If you want to spice up and add a little seasoning to your sex life, try something new. And no, I’m not saying to add a third person to the relationship- (unless you and your partner have gone over the complications and after effects of post-three-some sex) – venturing out into the wild is not always such a crazy idea.

After speaking with friends and colleagues, I’ve come to unravel the idea that sex in the bathroom is typically the most talked about place when it comes to public spaces. Maybe it’s because it’s not as scandalous and risque as sex on a park bench during day light- but it still gives you a sense of thrill, and always a great story to discuss when reflecting on the relationship.

The second place, more casual – though slightly more scandalous than a bathroom was in a car. Now, despite this sounding cliche like a 1980s Bette Midler movie, this can either give you the stars, moons and the flying white doves – or maybe just a really bad back. Not to forget, most people that I spoke to, when  engaging in this sort of intimacy- was often caught. Not sure, why?

The last place- and though no one I’ve spoken to have done this yet, but I’ve so often thought about the level of ambiance this can possess – is a roof top terrace. With dimly lit candles, and a little whip cream here and there – a couple’s sex life can be transformed from sterile to vibrant in less than 24hrs.

So the next time you and your other half – or shag – is experiencing a drought during the summer months, try a few simple steps to revitalize your intimacy, and embrace the thrill of sex in crazy places.


One for the paper, two for the love.. Give me a break.

Inspired by the song Buyou by Keri Hilson, but not really. I’ve had this topic on my mind for quite some time now. The topic is what most of us question when dating: love v. money

So often have I read horror stories of people dating someone broke.

I say the word broke in a the most simple of contexts. The definition of the word broke, surrounding today’s post, defines a person as “He/she that cannot provide.”

If you’ve started a relationship in which you’re incessantly paying for the other person, I’ve got to question- your reasoning. How is this benefiting you? Sure, relationships are all about the giving, but if you’re not receiving, then when where’s the equilibrium?

It’s not always a necessity to own a Mercedes (though it would be nice)- but if you don’t have a car; then you should at least know the bus routes.

And when it comes to going out on dates (car-less), get creative with it. Pull up to the house with a taxi waiting outside; I’ll pretend we’re in a Hollywood film from the ’60s.

If you’re doing the whole BMW (Bus/Metro/Walk), have the aspirations of one day, owning it.

“Was looking for a man to hold me down, so how did I end up with you?”

There is no justification in being in a relationship with someone who cannot provide for you, that of which you can already provide for yourself. Call it rude, or insensitive– but its attitude’s like this, that get us into borderline embarrassing situations.

Too often are guys settling for less. If a man isn’t on your level, then relax. It’s just the universes way of saying “your time isn’t ready.”  Don’t force anything; take a few seconds to better you. And within time, you will come across a man who will have the proper credentials, but in the most uncanny way- which again upholds the truth that love is not simple.

Climbing up that ladder with the full-time job, tell me how you ended up with a full time slob?


Check out Keri Hilsons “Buyou” : Buyou (Feat. J. Cole)

Remember love.

A good friend earlier said, “the more you argue, the more you show you’re appreciation and love for one another.” And though it took me a second to fully understand, once explained, I knew exactly what he was talking about.

When you argue with someone, you’re showing your effort to keep something alive- something more deeper than the principle at hand. If this wasn’t the case, then you would’ve essentially walked away from the situation. And though walking away might seem safer at times, it’s not the safest route in the realms of longevity and kinship.


I believe walking away, is like giving up on a fight. And when the fight is surrounding the topic of love, it’s not an easy win/lose situation. Both parties get hurt walking away. If your partner is arguing with you, he is essentially trying to let you know what is affecting them. The next time you and your partner argue, don’t walk away. The next time he pushes you past the edge of the tipping point- try remembering- if he didn’t want this to work, he would’ve walked away a while ago.

Remember love.

Gay Sauna

Public bath houses are one of the oldest communal traditions that date back to the Indus Valley Civilization (present day Pakistan & western India) 3300-1300 BCE.

Continuing through the height of both the Ancient Greek and Roman Empires (but not limited to), this was a place for people to  bathe, relax and socialize with others in the community.

And through the years Public Bathhouses have managed to maintain it’s popularity through various subcultures.

 But when you think of Bathhouses, or it’s more mainstream term, the Saunas- your mind tends to rewind and play those infamous scenes of  Brian Kinney in Queer as Folk.  And as sensationalized Queer as Folk may have been on particular subjects, I have to agree that the director of the show had to have experienced the Saunas- because it’s depiction and accuracy of the Baths was undeniably true.

Walking into one of Central London’s biggest- yet somehow underground sauna, I couldn’t help but be a bit nervous as I walked through the entrance and paid 15pounds. (For those back in the US- thats roughly 25.00 USD)

Though this wasn’t my first time going to a sauna in London, this particular one was intriguing to me because of its size. Oh and, let me not forget, I was going on a Saturday night at 4am. (It’s location is in that of a london club district that is known for its heavy drug use and 24hr raving- on the weekends)

After stripping down until the only thing left was a thing towel around my waist, I turned to my friend and proceeded to leave the changing room and vicariously live those exciting days of being gay in the 70s (New York & San Francisco).

The entire Sauna was dark. Unless you have perfect vision, you could hardly see the end of the hallway- but that added to the atmosphere.

As we turned corners we decided to sit in the actual heat/sweat room. Not only five minutes into the room, was a boy summoned by another, sitting in the corner. The two started giving oral sex as everyone else sat, sweated, and looked around checking each other out.

We decided to leave the heatroom shortly after, unveiling a much more darker room than the one previously mentioend.  It was in the dark room where beds were lined up across both sides of the wall, with the only lighting shimmering from flat screen televisions showing gay porn.

In the dark room men were laying on their stomachs and backs. Some were sleep and some weren’t. Some were having oral sex, while some were dreaming about it.

As we watched, we saw one guy actually in a deep sleep- snoring. Now, I’ve heard stories about guys who check into the saunas on a Friday night and not coming out until Sunday or even Monday mornings- but I just assumed the story was embelleshed. Now it seemed believable.

After leaving the room, we heard a bit of commotion, in which one of the cleaners asked everyone to step aside so that he could clean up the “blood” which was on the floor.

We decided to turn the corner, walking past small closet spaces with doors- some closed, and some opened with men standing in the doorway. “This is where you pick up a guy,” I said to my friend. Young and old, men of all ages, at least of legal age, they checked our ids, were standing in the doorways.

If someone was interested, the unwritten rule is to make a “pass,” which is generally a light touch to your arm or your waist.

We decided to make a conversation with boy who made a pass at us. He was standing in one of the doorways, and seemed to be of around the same age  (mid 20s).  He was very attractive; tall, tan skin, black hair and nice eyes. We asked him what he was doing there and through answering- he asked us the same thing. We couldn’t really give a reason, except, “we thought we’d check this place out.”

After a short lived conversation, we walked away for a few minutes. We came back and his door was shut. Curiously wanting to see what was going on, we knocked on his door several times. After no answer, we realized it was a private shag.

We spent the next hour walking around back and forth between the various rooms. After deciding it was time to go, we headed toward the showers to help restore our sanity. The showers were in a community room, with no seperation or division of clear space. No longer a surprise, were men hooking up.

After my experience at the Sauna, I spoke to a man about the concept in its entirey. He explained, that the mere reason for their existence and popularity in gay sub culture is that the surrounding communities would rather have it confined in one space- as opposed to being out in the open.

What do you all think? Have you been to a sauna, and if not, would you go?

Sexiest trait: Honesty

The sexiest thing in a man is honesty. Someone sincere and true to their words and feelings can be quite the turn on- even if he is shagging multiple guys.


Well when you’re honest, you’ve not only shown that you have respect for that person’s feelings (no matter how they might react), but you’re also living up to yourself. In truth you have become that one person that people respect because you don’t consider  judgment to be a factor when being honest.

But don’t take it wrong people. Some might think that because one is so open and honest that he might be the one hurting in the end, or that by showing his vulnerable side, he’ll be left in situations where people are able to use his honesty against him.

Though this might happen, if you’ve lived your ways as being open and honest (no matter what you do), then you have no shame. And you have no reason to feel any shame. Life is life and sex is sex.

In the end its the man who is honest with his emotions, feelings and reactions that prevails. This is because people are able to see the real him and not him as some fictional character. And when people see the real you, they begin to understand you.



Coming out (Anti-gay)

Coming out stories can always be a good laugh or cry for the simple fact that no one is the same. We all come from different backgrounds, religious beliefs, and for some- different countries.

I was asked recently to write a post on Coming Out if  “you’re family is from another country or if they are anti-gay.” So how does one exactly do that?

I’d imagine in a country like the United States where we typically like to view ourselves as being liberal and equal opportunity for all, we’d imagine coming out to be not such an issue… or as in that’s so 80s of you to care. But truth be told, America is not like that. (We’re still having issues over race and sexual orientation just take a look at the political system) And  if you’re not living in a metropolitan city (as like the majority of America) you’re chances of coming from a more conservative family is high and likely.

So I have a question for anyone who has come from another country (living in the US) or a family with anti-gay views; have you come out to them? And if not, does this affect the kinds of guys you date?


During the holidays, most couples and long-term shags like to fill the Christmas spirit with laying next to a nice open fire, or cuddling in a soft bed.

And it’s during this time that people have coined the term “Baby making season.” Luckily, for us gays, we dont have to worry about that.

But if you think that just because you are in a same-sex relationship, you might not have to follow some of the same rules that heterosexuals do. I’m here to tell you, you’ve been duked.

Unless your man is a fan of body hair (in all places- and not just chest), you might want to take into consideration one practice that has started to become a mainstream tool in the more recent years.

It’s called the Boyzilian wax. A technique,  which has dated back to Brazil in 1500 AD, this wax has molded itself into being the new private hair removal for men.

When most guys think of Boyzilians, they tend to think of the excrutiating pain that is associated with it. I’m here to tell you, it’s not that bad.

The worse part about the entire process will probably be losing any dignity or self pride you once had. And let’s face it, being gay in your 20s…. I’m sure that’s been lost ages ago.

The standard description for a Boyzilian reads, “back sack and crack.”

The back and crack refers to the removal of hair from both your glutes and the inner lining of the hair around your bumhole. This process is quite funny in theory. Most likely your salonist will ask you to get on all fours and “arch your back.” Don’t be shy, it’s a position everyone’s been in before, including your salonist.  

 If you’re wondering about the sack area, I hear it depends on where you go. The place I enjoyed my experience, placed the hot wax around the sack for several minutes allowing it to take shape and mold around that section of my body.

As this was taking shape, my salonist was waxing other parts. After letting the wax mold for a couple of minutes, the salonist pealed it off, gently, to help protect the skin, but to also make sure it was smooth and clean.

So if you’re wondering about that special gift to give your true love on the 1st day of Christmas, try a Boyzilian- as it will be sure to leave both you and your baby happy for the remainder of Holiday Season.