You never know when you’ll meet that certain someone. And thanks to Disney and its fairytale weddings, we as society, typically believe we’re able to change that one person or help them overcome an obstacle, in the event of finding our True Love. A brilliant idea in theory, but a not-so-good idea in the long run; especially when it comes to dating on the down low.
Not be confused with being closeted (a guy whos just not out), a guy that is on the down low is a bit more extreme. He will typically do everything sexual with a man- even finding himself emotionally attached, but in the end he will forever say, “this is only temporary.” If this is the case, then why does he keep coming back?
I’d like to blame society. It’s taught gay men to hate themselves, specifically the media. When was the last time you saw a variety of personalities from homosexual men on television? The standard has become: pretentious, gaudy, anorexic, or feminine. Yes, I know, we had Karamo from the real world- but even if he wasn’t enough man to help these boys think differently about themselves. Oh, and as for Anderson Cooper… Has he openly talked about his sexuality yet? (Yes America, this is an issue- until we are all given the same rights as heterosexuals)
Not only does the media have a particular role, but so does the church. As long as preachers are stating that it’s against God’s will to be homosexual, and preaching about Nuclear families we will have a problem with men on the down low. If you, the preacher, have never experienced being gay, who are you to say that it’s not something we are born with?
This post isn’t going to criticize religion, but I happen to believe we are gay for a reason. We are gay because it’s a blessing
and not a curse.
And on the subject of Nuclear family– that the preacher or man on the down low might so often propose, how often do you see gay men and women neglecting their children on the news? I’d like to see some statistics showing same sexed partners as unfit parents. Difference is, we can’t just “slip” and end up with a child, like heterosexuals can. Therefore, we have to plan for a child. And nine times out of ten, when you plan for something, you have better results.
So all in all, the stigma that surrounds the men of the down low, is coming from society itself. When these men are forced to hide in a cage and deny their true existence because of a religion, profession, or family they act out of character. That doesn’t mean sympathize and date them, but rather empathize and hope that they one day come to a realization of life.
And if you’ve been shagging a boy on the down low, you can stay with him and hope that he’ll change his ways; but at the end of the day, the only thing you are left with is hope. Do yourself a favor, for the long-term benefit: don’t get involved with these types of relationships. Unless you want to be just that homeboy to his family and friends, dating on the down low is beneficial to no one, and certainly not the heart.