It’s been quite a while since I last updated this- and not because of laziness or insecurity in making my thoughts public, but because for a while I felt like I couldn’t write. I don’t want to be a blogger who forces anything out, if that was the case, all of my words and thoughts would genuinely lack meaning and would just be just plain rubbish. I’d rather be a blogger where people can actually find comfort and security while reading these posts.
I recently went on a date with a guy who seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders. He was in his early 20s, in school, working two jobs, very attractive, didn’t smoke and didn’t drink much. So why was he still single? Well we got on the subject, and after talking, he expressed to me he couldn’t understand why the last guy he pursued didn’t work out. He said, “I did everything I could, I played the game right… Didn’t text too often, waited to respond, I didn’t want to seem pressed.”
After he told me that, I said to him, “Maybe that was the problem. You were playing this game right back with him. Perhaps, you should’ve just expressed how you felt from the start- if you’re interested in him then show it. Don’t wait to return messages, try giving him a ring.”
Well, in any event he didn’t take heed to my advice, and when he began to play that same game with me, I stopped responding- and not because this was a “tic for tac” but because dealing with those kinds of games go against my morals.
So let’s fast track a little more forward. There’s a guy who I’ve shown interest in, and he knows it, as well as our mutual friends. But at times I feel like my expression of gratitude isn’t always well received. Not to say that he is by any means rude, but I feel in the sense that it’s not well received because, well he just doesn’t always respond back. And although when I’m around him I feel like the shooting stars are flying around, I don’t want to be naive enough to sacrifice my beliefs for something that could simply just be a long-time crush.
As mentioned before, I’m not one who likes to play “the game.” I’d rather be upfront and honest, and sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve. And if that gets me hurt, well so be it. And if I live by that, then at least I can learn and grow from whatever my heart has received.